Reflections from the front lines serving people experiencing homelessness, during a week of relatively cooler temperatures (no more extreme heat watch), sheltering nearly 900 people per night in three spaces on Key Campus, concerned for another 155-ish unsheltered people in the neighborhood, and drawing on the past to recenter in the present.
Flashbacks
August 16, 1977
At seven years old, I went to my first concert: Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers at the Wisconsin State Fair. My Dad was infatuated with Dolly. My Mom loves the Fair. I am pretty sure she won the tickets from a radio station. The fam bam rode in the gold Chevy Impala with white vinyl seats. Mike, my four-year-old brother and me in the backseat. I don’t remember a lot about the concert or the Fair, other than sitting on hard bleachers and being wowed by these performers I had seen on TV. There they were on stage! In person! I am pretty sure everyone in the audience felt Dolly was singing to them directly. Her presence and beauty were powerful. My diary says: “Kenny sang songs for about 45 minutes. Dolly Parton sang for about 50 minutes. At the end of Dolly everybody stood up, and Dolly sang one more song.” And that is when I learned what “encore” means.
The diary entry continues, “On the way home daddy turned on the radio, and it said the King of Rock n Roll had passed away. It was Elvis Presley who died. At least mom saw him in person once.”
My Mom’s FAVORITE. My mom crying in the front seat. Us kids in the back not entirely sure what this meant. Maybe the first death I had to process, Elvis. So much music and feeling in one day.
August 29, 2006
I spent August 28 “homeless” in downtown Phoenix. My journal has 49 pages of notes to process the whole experience. This type of immersion was organized long before the homeless services sector looked for and included the voice of lived experience. I was just entering my second year at Valley of the Sun United Way and was easily recruited to the immersion as a life-long experiential learner. Reading through my notes now takes me back quickly. It’s incredible how rapidly perspective can change when you have nothing. I had my clothes and shoes for the 24 hours, however no I.D., no money, no debit card. There is a much longer story here, one for another day.
That 24 hours affected me personally and professionally. It led me to a deep connection with the work of ending homelessness. It caused me to see my dad in the eyes of strangers. Less than two weeks later my dad would die, and I still regret not having a conversation with him about what I learned that day.
Crucible Moments
“A crucible moment is a transformative experience through which an individual comes to a new or altered sense of identity.” (Alchemy of Transformation, Jenny Davidson-Goldbronn)
“A leadership crucible can be likened to a melting pot where a leader’s mettle is tested and refined. These are not everyday challenges but are defining moments that demand a leader to rise above the ordinary, often under intense pressure.” (Leadership Story Bank, August 1, 2023).
August of 1977 was certainly personal versus professional when it comes to being a crucible moment. I often think back on that car ride, and it is for some reason etched into my being. Maybe the music, the emotion, the impressionable age. Perhaps a driver of the need to be resilient, to survive, of empathy and adaptability. A driver for the love for music.
August of 2006 was a professional crucible moment. The level of reflection post-event, the deepening empathy for those who are homeless. I developed a commitment to be a part of solutions. I committed to putting more back into the system than whatever I took out that day for my make-believe homelessness. Twenty years later, working at this Campus where I encountered services on that one hot Phoenix day, I am drawn back to the stress and tension of navigating homelessness.
The death of Dolly triggers memories and recollections. It’s August turning into September, still Summer. Still hot in Phoenix. My workday is focused on serving those who need assistance to move out of homelessness and into housing while building stronger advocacy to make systems change and prevent more homelessness. The crucible moments of my life from the early years being part of my origin story and in my adult years are continuing to shape how I move through life and approach this vocation.
Leadership. It requires resilience, self-awareness, adaptability, calm under pressure. We each develop these skills and abilities in different ways. Looking back on the transformations through our life journey allows us to find patterns, blind spots, opportunities. Reflection helps to maintain the connection to our purpose and may assist us in reimagining our future.
The experiences of our clients, people who are unhoused, will likely be crucible moments. They won’t know it now as they live through it. At Keys to Change are we supporting them to create the safety they need, are we listening and demonstrating empathy? Are we offering what we can as their mettle is tested? One day, when they are housed and secure, I hope they realize their courage and resilience. I hope they are able to reflect and rebuild, to reimagine.
As I listen to Dolly’s songs from that 1977 concert, the last one resonates deeply.
“I am a seeker, a poor creature
There is no weaker than I am
I am a seeker and you are a teacher
You are a reacher, so reach down
Reach out and lead me, guide me and keep me
In the shelter of your care each day
‘Cause I am a seeker and you are a keeper
You are a leader, won’t you show me the way?”
– The Seeker, by Dolly Parton
From the seekers to the teachers, the reachers to the leaders, aren’t we all one of them at any time in our lives? And all of them in our one wild and precious life.
Footnote: August 16, 1977, diary entry lists the songs that Dolly sang: Higher and Higher, All I Can Do, Jolene, Tennessee Mountain Home, Do I Ever Cross Your Mind, Coat of Many Colors, Apple Jack, Light of a Clear Blue Morning, Me and Little Andy, Love is Like a Butterfly, Holding on to You, The Seeker.
