Reflections from the front lines serving people experiencing homelessness, in an October excessive heat warning (!), continuing to shelter 900 people per night on Key Campus, outreaching 400-500 more who remain unsheltered, and seeing the ARPA finish line vividly and sadly.

For those of you who are frequent readers, you probably sense I am maybe not the most positive, optimistic, cheerleader-like person. I call it being “realistic,” and of course, some may call it “pessimistic.” I certainly have moments of optimism, and I hold the firm belief that ending homelessness as we know it in the United States of America is possible.

And today my friends is a milestone that we knew would happen, and it brings many unhappy feelings. I cannot write a monthly blog that is cheery and paints a portrait of positivity. My authentic self won’t allow me to put on blinders and share with you uplifting and happy things that are happening.

Here is why.

I have written about a looming financial cliff, the end of American Rescue Plan Act (ARPA) funding. At the end of Arizona Governor Ducey’s term, he granted our organization $10M of State ARPA dollars. Once that grant agreement was written and signed, we launched two Bridge Housing programs and expanded our Multi-Disciplinary Street Outreach team. At the same time we have been operating a Bridge Housing program with Maricopa County.

In total today, across these three Bridge Housing programs, we are providing 262 people with indoor shelter, meals, and services to lead them to housing. A team of 30 staff are operating these programs around the clock.

Our 17 person Street Outreach Team provides regional engagement to unhoused people, connecting them with humanity, services, and paths to housing. Fifty to sixty people per month are moved from the streets to indoor programs by this Team.

And today, knowing the contract end dates are November 30, 47 staff were told we can no longer employ them after their programs wind down.

No new clients will be brought in to the Bridge Housing programs. And the Outreach team will now turn its efforts to assisting the Bridge teams in a hyper-focused effort to find housing for 262 people between now and the end of November.

On a day when employees are learning that we have an end date to their positions, I cannot ignore the unease this gives me and our leadership team. These people deserve the sole attention of this month’s blog in recognition for their work. So I offer you the truth.

We knew this was one-time funding. Most definitely. We also knew it would be challenging to find replacement funding for all of the programming mentioned above.

And that knowing makes it no less difficult to convey the news to dedicated, front line staff. And it is no less awful to tell clients their program time with us is up.

Through a series of recent events I am reflecting on funding decisions and the tensions, ripple effects, and the level of connectedness that different people have to them. I was on the funder side. I was a “grant maker” who staffed application and review processes to decide how to spend money raised in the community. My 13 years at Valley of the Sun United Way holding those meetings, telling agency partners funding was being reduced or eliminated, and talking about “cost per person served” or such formulaic approaches gave me little sensitivity to the effect on the recipient side. Call them “business decisions” and it gives cover to any emotion.

It was relatively easy and painless to be in funder meetings and talk globally about total dollars and cents, which organizations to give it to, and what were thought to be the implications on clients and employees. It felt “challenging” to rank projects or apply a formula to a row or column of dollars in a spreadsheet, however there was no consequence to me. I was removed from the front lines. I didn’t have to face the effects of the decisions made in any direct way.

Today as I witness the personal attention given by HR and Program Management and see the toll it takes on them, as I have answered questions from employees about what is happening and sensing their fear for their future, and as I keep looking for ways to keep the programs and the people, I feel the consequences of funding decisions.

I’m not writing this in search of any sympathy, apology, or as a crisis fundraising tactic. I am writing this because it’s what is happening right now, on the front lines. And it’s not only happening at Keys to Change. It is happening on various timelines across organizations and across many different program and service areas.

ARPA was good, it helped a tremendous number of people. And through it, as a larger community we missed the opportunity to plan for its end. It wasn’t used to change systems and prevent large scale homelessness. Yes, locally it funded some capital construction and property purchase; the sustainable funding to operate programs in those spaces is not fully in place. Are we better off now than we were three years ago? As a system, I struggle to say “yes.”

Tomorrow, or the day after, or a couple of days from now, I will find positivity and optimism. I will use frustration and sadness to fuel the fire to continue working on both short term and long term solutions. I will dig into my determination and stick-to-it-tiveness.

Tonight I will beat myself up a bit for not doing more, not advocating more loudly, not raising more money, etc. In mama bear mode, I will worry for the 47 employees. I will keep the gears turning in my mind as to how to solve for permanent housing for 262 people. I will also remind myself that tremendous outcomes were created for hundreds of people who were once homeless.

And I can confidently say that I prefer being on this side, on the front lines facing my feelings, rather than being on the funder side. As the Theodore Roosevelt quote goes, I prefer to be the human “who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

Keys to Change will be in the arena for the long haul. Will you?